Reflections: Once The Fog Cleared

Written By Savannah Kitson

Words by PSYCHÉscape. Article 002.

For some, September 3rd is a poignant day.

Exactly twenty-four years prior, it was a Friday and the start of the 1999 Labour Day Long Weekend.

The sun had risen to reveal a perfectly normal day for Ute Lawrence and her partner Stan who were driving along the Ontario Highway 401 from London to Detroit, Michigan to attend a business meeting.

This perfectly normal day would manifest itself into nothing more than a distant memory for years to come for Ute and Stan.

Shortly after, the couple drove into a seemingly innocuous cotton ball of fog which then chewed up and spat out one of the worst road disasters in Canada’s history.

An 87-vehicle pileup ensued.

Ute recalls that:

“jolting from the cars behind were violent and the crashing sounds were loud and seemed to go on forever — with each jolt I felt this would be the one that would kill us.”

The cotton ball became a fire ball, which culminated in physical injuries to 45 people and stole the lives of 8.

But not Ute and Stan.

Although they narrowly escaped death, they couldn’t escape the dying pleas of a 14 year-old girl engulfed in the blaze. - This little girl is also who Ute attributes their survival to.

Neither could other survivors nor first responders escape the terrorizing images they had come to bear witness to once the fog cleared.

Every September 3rd, these people remember.

Most of these people experienced intrusive memories and flashbacks as though they were re-experiencing this traumatic event. Most of these people experienced sleep disturbances causing extreme fatigue, exhaustion and difficulties with concentrating because the night terrors were too disturbing to sleep. So, some turned to their vices of self-medication, Ute remembers:

“That night when we returned home, neither Stan nor I wanted to go to bed. I think we were both afraid that if we fell asleep, we would die. That night, and for many others to come, we drank copious quantities of wine to numb our fear and we finally collapsed into bed.”

Some people became a shell of their former self, succumbed to their extreme senses of anger, fear, sadness and shame. Some denied the event even happened, rendering themselves numb or emotionless.  Many became hypervigilant because who’s to say this wont happen again? This traumatic event was unexpected, unpreventable and so one must prepare for another. Now self-preservation means always on edge and always unsafe. Even a seemingly harmless car alarm sounding can produce the most disordinate adverse reaction. Once the fog has settled, the survivor guilt and self-responsibility sets in. - Why did I survive and not the others?

Finally, the withdrawal and avoidance of situations or people that remind them of the traumatic event. These unjustified and inhumane incidences can cause us to distrust others, ourselves and even our own judgments.

For the majority, these responses dissipated into merely a painful memory after one month, but for a small minority including Ute and Stan, these persisted into a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

To add insult to injury, although both Ute and Stan experienced the exact same incident, their neurological responses couldn’t have been more different. Three months later using simulations identical to that the couple experienced during the incident, fMRI scans revealed Stan’s brain lit up brightly and he relived the physiological reaction he had experienced during the crash. The past quite literally became the present. Yet Ute’s brain shut down and her brain exhibited a blunted response to the stimuli. Ute garnered the label ‘dissociator’ and demonstrated a disconnect to her own sense of reality and self, also known as ‘depersonalisation’. Ute had become hardwired to trauma, this was not her first rodeo, she was well-versed in the field of trauma. Ute had experienced the loss of her father at 9 years old and a cruel upbringing by her mother. Her body had prepared itself in the best way it could to survive. This sorrowful example demonstrates that life experiences are unique and so to are individual responses to trauma, for Stan; flight and Ute; freeze. These responses are part of the 5 F’s Trauma model which include: fight, flight, freeze, fawn and flop.

Stan Fisher (left) and Ute Larwence’s (right) fMRI scans (Van der Kolk et al., 2015).

These are all natural responses to an unnatural situation; they are not indicators of psychopathy. Despite this, PTSD remains highly misunderstood and stigmatized.

Stereotypes depict people experiencing PTSD as dangerous, incompetent and even worse; to blame. PTSD can also be perceived as Veterans of War problem; an adjustment problem from the war zone to the home front. Yet PTSD extends far beyond the military yielding a lifetime worldwide prevalence of 3.9%.

Currently there remains an over-diagnosis and misdiagnosis of PTSD within the military population and an underdiagnosis within the general population. Retired Army Infantry Officer Dr. Stephen Scroggs affirms;

“It is frustrating… to see people assume that veterans, particularly combat vets, live with PTSD. Most do not. This perception is unfair to veterans, perpetuates a larger misunderstanding of PTSD, and diverts attention away from a larger population in need.”

Left untreated, PTSD has deleterious effects on health, mental health, employment, quality of life and families too.

Moreover, individuals diagnosed with PTSD are more likely to experience other mental health disorders comorbidly yet are also less likely to seek help due to negative emotions and perceived stigma. Traumatic events can cause us to doubt our own belief systems, detach from our support networks and our world.

This is further compounded when understanding that one of the biggest protective factors for successful recovery from PTSD is social support.

This paradox is something that resonated with Ute who has since dedicated her career to speaking publicly about her personal experience of trauma;

“This traumatic experience is now part of my life. It is who I am now. The acceptance allows one to re-connect with the world outside.”

This meaning-making out of the senseless is an inspiring example of post-traumatic growth (PTG).

Whilst Ute was able to break-out of this self-perpetuating loop, we are still yet to. We say we, meaning us, you and each individual that represents our society. It’s our responsibility to end the stigmatization of PTSD.

It is true that 70% of the world’s population will be exposed to a traumatic event at some point in their lifetime, hence understanding how to support ourselves or a friend is fundamental. Because let’s face it, one of us will. Raising awareness through articles like this appears to be a small but mighty foot in the door.

Thus, on this day whilst we reflect on the lives lost, we should also reflect on the lives saved and those living with trauma.

References

Benjet, C., Bromet, E., Karam, E. G., Kessler, R. C., McLaughlin, K. A., Ruscio, A. M., Shahly, V., Stein, D. J., Petukhova, M., Hill, E., Alonso, J., Atwoli, L., Bunting, B., Bruffaerts, R., Caldas-de-Almeida, J. M., de Girolamo, G., Florescu, S., Gureje, O., Huang, Y., … Koenen, K. C. (2015). The epidemiology of traumatic event exposure worldwide: Results from the World Mental Health Survey Consortium. Psychological Medicine, 46(2), 327–343. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0033291715001981

Gros, D. F., Flanagan, J. C., Korte, K. J., Mills, A. C., Brady, K. T., & Back, S. E. (2016). Relations among social support, PTSD symptoms, and substance use in veterans. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 30(7), 764–770. https://doi.org/10.1037/adb0000205

Kessler, R. C., Aguilar-Gaxiola, S., Alonso, J., Benjet, C., Bromet, E. J., Cardoso, G., Degenhardt, L., de Girolamo, G., Dinolova, R. V., Ferry, F., Florescu, S., Gureje, O., Haro, J. M., Huang, Y., Karam, E. G., Kawakami, N., Lee, S., Lepine, J.-P., Levinson, D., … Koenen, K. C. (2017). Trauma and PTSD in the WHO world mental health surveys. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 8(sup5), 1353383. https://doi.org/10.1080/20008198.2017.1353383

Lawrence, U. (2015, February 12). Ute's story: Into the Fog . PTSD Association of Canada. Retrieved September 2, 2022, from http://www.ptsdassociation.com/storiesb/2015/2/12/into-the-fog

Scroggs, S. K. (2016, May 3). PTSD: Not just A "veteran" problem. Beacon Lens. Retrieved September 2, 2022, from https://www.beaconlens.com/ptsd-not-just-a-veteran-problem/

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Substance Abuse Treatment. (2014). Trauma-informed care in Behavioral Health Services.

Van der Kolk, B. (2015). CHAPTER 4 RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE: THE ANATOMY OF SURVIVAL. In The body keeps the score: Brain, mind and body in the healing of trauma. essay, Penguin Books.

Worldwide prevalence. NeuRA Library. (2021, October 27). Retrieved September 2, 2022, from https://library.neura.edu.au/ptsd-library/epidemiology-ptsd-library/prevalence-epidemiology-ptsd-library/worldwide-prevalence/

 
Savannah Kitson
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